how to be a sexy man that attracts women

19 Incredible Secrets to Attract Women & Become a Sexy Man

Akshay Dhiman Uncategorized 16 Comments

So, you want to attract women, huh? Let me show you why becoming a sexy man is much better (and irresistible to women) than just an attractive man. And, how to become one.

sexy man attracting a womanBeing attractive is great.

Being handsome is also great.

Helps you attract women with ease.

What if you’re not so attractive?

Even if you are, you know that having good looks is not enough.

Instead, you can be a sexy man and attract any woman!

Here’s the deal:

Somebody can be super attractive, but NOT sexy. Whereas, somebody can be average looking, but super sexy.

In fact, women are less visual and more emotional. That means, they prefer a sexy guy instead of someone with good looks.

Now, you must be thinking…

“Okay Akshay, sounds great. But, what makes a man sexy?”

“How can I make myself sexually attractive to women even if I don’t have good looks?”

Well, today I’m going to make it easy by showing you 19 tips to be an irresistible and seductive man.

0. Develop the Self-Confidence You Need to Be Sexy

It doesn’t matter if you have good looks or six-pack abs, as soon as you’re self confident, you’re kicking everybody’s ass.

confident man wearing sports coat with black board behind

“Being confident is the fundamental trait of becoming a sexy man.”

Confidence comes from a well developed sense of self and a grounded stability. It is built after real life experiences and failures.

See:

Confident guys are sexy and girls cannot resist them.

The following tips contribute in building your self confidence.

Keep reading.

1. Sexy Men Move With Power

The first impression has nothing to do with our faces or our figures.

People first notice you by the way you move.

research at Queen’s University reveals that it is the key part of attraction game.

People are capable enough to figure out if you are moving and acting in our normal way or not.

As social psychologist Amy Cuddy says, people try to answer these questions:

“What are this person’s intentions towards me?”

“How strong and competent is this person?” 

But, why is this important?

Because if they caught you moving in a un-natural way, it would mean you’re not confident. And we don’t want that.

man walking wearing shades and holding umbrella

Action Steps:

Seduce with your body language

To make a solid first impression, you must move your body in style and confidence. Carry your body like you are off to something big. You are kind of a big deal.

Always keep your head parallel to the ground and don’t look down. Keep your back straight, chest up (like a soldier), shoulders down and relaxed.

You never know who could be watching you. Don’t give anybody a chance.

But, is being a good mover is enough to make you sexy?

2. Be a Good Cook – the secret ingredient

For the guys out there asking…”What can do to impress a lady?”…and yada yada.

See:

You cook somebody a meal and it actually tastes pretty good…it’s not even if it tastes good or not, the effort you put in to cook that meal is what actually matters the most.

Here’s the deal:

It’s easy to buy somebody something. You go to the store, throw out some cash and here’s your gift.

But, cooking a meal for somebody?

It’s a whole new level of sexy my friendswhole new level!

Still, if some of you think – cooking is not a manly thing. Yes, it is (95% agree)!

sexy man cooking to attract women

Action Step:

Cooking Pasta

Yes. It’s time to learn some cooking my friend!

Step 1: Find a big pan or pot. Fill it with water (about 2/3). Turn the knob on the stove to high.

Step 2: Add 1 or 2 tablespoons of salt. Wait for water to boil.

Step 3: Add pasta and stir (with a long spoon).

Step 4: Turn down the stove and continue boiling. After 8-10 minutes, take a piece out and taste it.

Step 5: When cooked to your taste, turn off the stove and empty the pot of pasta into a strainer. Now, serve it with your favorite sauce.

Eat and enjoy. Easy peasy.

See, I am not a cooking expert. But, these books are worth checking out:

3. Sense of Humor – Use This Sixth Sense to Attract Women

When it comes to attracting women, sense of humor is one of the best ways to attract women instantly.

You can be funny and attractive either online or in-person, when you meet a woman.

study at Stanford University School found that women find funny men irresistible. The interesting part is that those with good sense of humor is more preferred than physical looks.

See, this elusive sense is a skill, something that not everybody possesses. It’s a skill that works like a charm while picking up women.

approaching women barAction Steps:

Watch more comedy shows / comedians

The more you watch, the more you will learn about the things that are funny. Watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S, Kevin Hart or Ellen for example.

Surround yourself with funny people

This will help you to recognize funny situations in real life. Be around with the ones who makes girls laugh.

Practice timing and delivery

Practice, practice, practice!

Because if you missed the time to joke, it will not work and fall flat. Don’t let them say “Go away, weirdo!”

Look for humor in everyday situations

Look back and think of the situations that would sound funny when you joke about it.

Don’t overdo it

Don’t be a freak who’s always on.

Don’t be mean

Being mean is not fun and completely drives away all the credibility. Being racist or sexist is not cool.

Have the ability to laugh at yourself

Nobody get’s hurt and it’s fun! 🙂

4. Go Out of Your Comfort Zone & Take Risks

Bravery is one of the edgiest thing you can do to be crazy sexy and attracts women like a magnet.

If you do something fearless and bad-ass, even if it’s not that big, you actually did that – is what makes you sexy.

Why?

Because it reflects courage and confidence…which is enough blow her mind.

Action Steps:

Perform something creative, live (super duper sexy and seen by the majority)

man giving speech

Watch scary movies together (and obviously don’t get scared yourself, duh!)

couple-watching-horror-movie

Even take the little insect out of your room (that screams the hell out of her) 🙂

See, if you’re afraid of going outside of your comfort zone, you’ll be seen as boring.

There’s nothing sexy about it!

5. The Art of Complimenting Someone

Quick question:

What happens when somebody gives you a compliment?

You like them more.

See, women are emotional creatures. They LOVE getting compliments. They love it every day.

The truth is, they don’t dress for men, but to show off other women. So, make them believe that they look better than any other girl present there.

This art will make any girl attracted to you mentally, within minutes.

Let’s break this art into two parts:

Part 1: Catching Up

The best thing for you to compliment on is something that they’re actually wearing.

But, remember that you are complimenting her, not just her dress.

Instead of “I love your dress”, say “That dress look amazing on you”.

Other examples:

“That color looks perfect on you.”

“You deserve a hug right now.”

“Your eyes are breathtaking.”

“You’re a great listener.”

“You’re even more beautiful on the inside than you are on the outside.”

“You smell really good.”

Phew.

man complimenting girl

Part 2: Dig Deeper

Don’t stop there. Take your complimenting game to another level.

Do an explanation or in-depth discussion of the thing you just compliment about.

“What brand is it?”

“Where did you get it?”

Take it one step further and don’t overdo it.

Important: Tell the truth. Don’t fake it if you don’t mean it. You might hurt someone later.

6. Be Kind & Understand – the Winning Tip to Attract Women Naturally

Being kind is when you do something for people when you expect nothing in return.

Kindness is sexy when it is the right thing to do.

US-based research was done on 254 female students. They found that “Kind and Understanding” are the most preferred and highly rated characteristics of a man that a woman will look after.

Where the importance of job and money is about half than that.

qualities of men rated by women

It feels incredible when you do something good and don’t expect anything in return.

A scientific research shows that volunteering and helping others can lessen your depression and extend life.

How cool is that? I can live more and relieve some stress…where do I sign up?

kind man shaking hands with girl

Action Steps:

Care for others genuinely and expect nothing in return

Start caring with warmness, trust and loyalty. Place no returns or conditions or anything. If you have more money than you can spend, then you can do charity.

Be kind at least once a day

Do it every day, even if it’s a little thing (picking up your neighbor’s newspaper, for example), because it feels so good.

Don’t expect perfection

Always remember: doing something is better than nothing. Even if you are able to make something out of everything, it is more than enough.

Be there for them and be a good listener

Being present is sometimes enough to give moral support and make them feel good.

Do a random act of kindness

Like gifting, helping with something, etc., that they will not expect in general.

7. Make Eye Contact to Draw Attention

See, there’s a science behind making eye contact. It determines the importance of the person you are talking or listening to.

research says that gazing into another’s eyes leads people to feel increased love.

Here’s the catch:

  • Too little eye contact means you’re less interested in the person or conversation.
  • Too much of it is aggressive and weird.

couple looking at each other datingAction Steps:

Speaking to an individual

Maintain eye contact in a way that it doesn’t look creepy.

Research advices to break the eye contact every 3-4 seconds (3.3 seconds to be accurate).

Look up to a side or somewhere for a second (instead of looking down) and quickly get back.

Talking in a group

Keep it even. Slowly move and rotate your eyes with all the members of the group so that nobody feels left out.

Attracting someone with your eyes

To show affection, rotate your eyes to their lips, cheeks, nose, and back to their eyes.

Use your eyebrows and facial expressions at appropriate places to show interest.

Gently smiling when listening is also an amazing way to show affection.

8. Intelligence Is The All Time Sexy

Believe it or not. Education does matter.

Come on, ask yourself. Would she like to have an intelligent and smart man or a dumbass dude?

You know the answer.

See, you don’t need an Einstein like IQ, but you have to educate yourself.

Intelligence is sexy. So, constantly seek education.

intellect-sexy-manAction Steps:

Read, read, read

Never stop reading. That’s the key. Read books, news, magazines, journals and great blogs. 🙂

Play Games

A research in PNAS proves that a 25-30 minutes game play time is enough to raise the intelligence levels.

Play:

  • Puzzle,
  • Problem solving, and
  • PC/console games (story based games are the best and try to avoid aggressive ones).

Meditate

You can start with 8-10 minutes of meditation & you’ll start noticing the benefits if practiced on a daily basis.

Listen Music

Research says music moves brain to pay attention. Thus, improves your focus and intelligence. Music with good vibes boosts cognitive performance.

Workout

… Will get to that in a moment.

9. Learn to Be Playful & Fun

It is fun, yet underrated.

research (also shown in #6) found that play and playfulness signals serve an important function in mate choice. Thus, contributing sexual success.

Yes, it includes cuddling and tickling! 🙂

couple having fun playingActions Steps:

Befriend a baby

Crazy, sexy and attracts women like a magnet when they see you playing with them. Be ready to hear “aw…so cute” 🙂

Play with a pet

(Same reason as above).

Tease your friends

It’s fun. Shows you are fun loving.

Get in a tickle fight

It doesn’t get more fun and playful than this.

10. Lead the World with Integrity

Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.

If you have integrity, you are automatically viewed as sexier which is sweet for dudes who are honest.

See, there is nothing sexy about a man who pretends to be something he’s not, who doesn’t care and lacks any depth of feeling.

how to be a gentleman the definitive guideAction Steps:

Set your own rules

Create a vision in your life to be seen from a different perspective.

Live with integrity

Place yourself in a healthy environment, be aware of the decisions you make and avoid peer pressure.

Follow the leaders

Leaders have already experienced good & bad aspects of life. Therefore, they have figured out ways to cope up with difficulties. Study their life and learn from their mistakes.

11. Be Generous & Have Humility

Helping others and giving something willingly and happily without expecting anything in return in generosity.

When you have to give, then just give it from your heart.

If you’re only giving to impress other people, then you’re not really being generous.

generous man

These tips reflect generosity and humility:

  • Learn to say “no” to things that you’re not supposed to do.
  • Give up your seat.
  • Leave positive comments for someone online (you know what I mean 🙂 ).
  • Realize you’re not the best at everything.
  • Being selfish is good sometimes, but not every time.
  • Don’t complain too much.

12. The Attractive Body Posture

According to a research at Princeton University, an open or expansive posture makes a man physically attractive, easily.

man sitting in open posture

Action Steps:

  • Sit in open posture – open legs, arm spread.
  • Sitting straight makes you look more attentive.
  • Use your hands to draw more attention to the conversation (see next tip).
  • Use facial expressions and smile more while listening.
  • Don’t be a slouchy douche-bag! 🙂

13. Talk With Your Hands

When people are talking with passion and purpose, they tend to use their hands.

Research done on TED talkers shows that audiences view speakers that use their hands to gesture are viewed double more energetic and agreeable.

hands usage graph

It subconsciously triggers their mind, making you more energetic than others. Those who don’t – they are seen more cold and robotic.

man talking with hands

Action Steps:

Know your hand, speaking space

From your chest to waist, a bit wider than shoulder width is the sweet spot.

Don’t exaggerate too much and do it in a disciplined fashion.

Your gestures should be smooth

You don’t want to look robotic, right?

Follow your rhythm

Make sure that your hands are in line with the rhythm of your speech pattern.

Don’t use your hands on nonverbal spaces and after completing the sentence.

Consistency with your speed

If you’re speaking at a specific tempo, your hands should also follow or mirror that tempo.

Learn your hand work

When you speak, hold your hands at a 45 degree angle, palms facing up, because it signifies openness, and honesty.

14. Brooding Man Attracts

A British research revealed that women find happy men less sexually attractive than those with brooding men with a slight hint of shame.

Something like this:

brooding manImportant:

You must follow this only when you’re not making eye contact. When you’re in conversation, a gentle smile is must. Otherwise, you will be seen as a weirdo.

Actually, brooders are supposed to be approached and opened up. They’re not talkative and flirty type, but I don’t recommend that.

Here’s the deal:

Only follow the brooding part when you’re not in a conversation.

Brooding man gets chased down hard when women go nuts about him…in the right environments.

15. A Well-Dressed & Well-Groomed Man Wins The Chase

If you want to attract women, then you should take dressing and grooming seriously. These are the things that make yourself more physically attractive and hot.

The best part?

They make you feel more confident about yourself and hotter.

man in black suit

Here are some outfits that women go nuts about:

  • Plain T-shirt and jeans (nothing gets more basic and sexy)
  • Great leather jacket
  • Stylish & classic shoes (one of the first things that women look at)
  • Stylish glasses and shades (helps style up your game)
  • V-neck sweater
  • A watch (shows you’re responsible and reliable)
  • A well-tailored suit
  • The devil is in the stylish details (pocket square, chains, ties, rings, etc.)

These tips are not enough, right? Check out this post where I talk about 110+ men’s style tips.

Pro Tip: Use bright and fun colors in ties and pocket squares that people generally don’t wear.

It shows you are not afraid to wear them and you’re confident.

Here’s what you need to do about grooming:

Body Smell

Women like sniffing around men’s shirts with sweat (the manly smell of yours).

Still, find a deodorant that suits you best to cover up the bad smell and leaves the good one.

Hair

Get a nice and clean haircut that suits your face:

Facial Hair

You can do the most attractive facial hair (research proven) or simply clean-shaven.

Chest hair, Armpits and Back hair

Research says the majority of women prefer shaved chest. Shave or trim them to light uniform size to avoid looking like a wild animal naked. 🙂

Testicles

Shave ’em.

Warning: Never use a trimmer there. Save some blood.

Butt Cheeks

Trim ’em.

Arms and Legs

Shave or trim them to light uniform size.

Eye Brows, Nose and Ear Hair

Use an eyebrow Plucker to get them in shape, or get it done by your hair stylist.

Cut the unnecessary nose and ear hair by using small size scissors.

Nails

Cut and clean them.

Fact: Many women judge men by their nails!

16. The Perfectly Sexy Muscle Man

Do you know what attracts women to men physically?

Guys with muscles.

According to the Californian study, women rated muscular men as sexier and more physically dominant.

These images were shown to 141 college women:

muscular sexy man research

The results?

  • Built and toned guys topped
  • Chubby was the bottom
  • Brawn still desirable

Conclusion:

  • Do cardio for 30 minutes daily (running, cycling, skipping ropes, etc.)
  • Workout each body part once a week
  • Eat high-protein and vitamin rich diet
  • Become sexier and confident!

17. A Good Lover is One Hell of a Sexy Beast

You can’t beat the sexiness of a good lover…simply can’t!

It all boils down to becoming a sexy man and improving sex appeal.

couple dancing in rainAction Steps:

Slow down

Everything in an intimate relationship should be slow and you should embrace the act of loving each other.

Explore your partner

Explore her sensitive areas which turns her on, both mentally and physically.

Please her mind first

Develop the sexual interest in her mind before getting physical and excite her to get interesting results.

Become the master of kissing

Master this art before anything else.

Speak more

She likes to hear the sounds as much as you do. Say things like: “Oh, it feels so good…”

18. Don’t Give a Damn about Women

Huh?

What? Why???

You won’t believe me… but it’s true.

Men who don’t pay too much attention to women (don’t give a damn) are seen super sexy and irresistible.

women staring man walking

You must have heard this (if not yet)…

Being desperate is the worst thing a man can possibly be!

See:

There’s a huge difference between being “desperate” and “not giving a damn”.

In fact, women are never interested in guys who heavily pursue them.

If they know – you’re already in their bag, there’s no chase, where the chase is half the fun.

Now, you get it.

Here’s the deal:

If you treat her like she’s just an ordinary friend (where others are too desperate), it will make you irresistible and she will chase to have you.

19. The Real Mysteriously Sexy Guy

A shy guy, like a wallflower, is not sexy in any way. He is less involved and the wall seems like a good place to hang out.

On the other side…

A quiet guy, but in a really “mysterious” way, is super-duper sexy and that mysterious man attracts women.

mysteriously attractive man

He’s quiet and makes everyone wonder what he’s going to say next.

This mysterious guy is…

  • Great observant
  • Self-sufficient
  • Super intelligent
  • Careful with his words
  • Responsible

So, what can you learn from this guy?

Don’t Show off, Brag, or Boast

This guy never shows his cards at his first meeting.

Why?

There’s no chase if you open up too early.

Never Always Agree About What They Say

There must be a difference with your opinions and their’s (hence, making more arguable).

This reflects intelligence and courage (when done smartly).

Never Stabilize Their Mood

Always try to drop more questions in their mind (like bombs) to think.

More questions = More mystery = Deeper Attraction.

Connecting The Dots

Now, you know in the above tips: how to attract women; sexy and attractive are two different things; and why becoming a sexy man is better.

Tell me, which ones of the above tips you are doing well, and have you got any success?

Want to know why girls don’t want you and what you are doing wrong?


why she don't want you

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Comments 16

  1. All excellent points that come back to being confident in your own skin. Once you are there, then you can expand your comfort zone. This creates a domino effect of self improvement and attractiveness.

  2. Wonderful post Akshay! Man I’m really impressed, you have put some meaningful core points in your article. I’ve read many articles around this topic, but your article is so research packed, you must’ve put a lot of time to collect the material. All I can say its pure gold, at-least for me 😉 I just subscribed, waiting for more.

  3. Hi Akshay, I loved your post! True, being attractive and being sexy are two different roads. You explained some valid points and action tips. Being a cook is a strong plus point, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a Masterchef to get a date, but if you cook, she will appreciate your effort, that will ultimately make the connection stronger. But on a occasion like anniversary, what do you recommend? Cook or order?

    1. Thanks Deanne!

      Cooking is certainly one of the most interesting ones here. It actually depends, if you’re staying indoors on a special day then cooking something can absolutely surprise her.

  4. I’m happy that I don’t make many mistakes. I dress well, work out and keep my body hair in check. Still there are some things that I should get better at. Also I don’t cook a lot but I think that should not be so important 🙂

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