how to be a sexy man that attracts women

19 Incredible Secrets to Be a Sexy Man (Even Without Good Looks)

Akshay Dhiman Uncategorized 18 Comments

Let me show you why becoming a sexy man is much better (and irresistible to women) than an attractive man. And, how to become one.

sexy man attracting a woman

Being attractive and good looking is great. Helps you attract women with ease.

What if you’re not so attractive?

Even if you are, you know having good looks is actually not enough. Instead, you can be a sexy man.

Here’s the deal:

A man can be attractive, but NOT sexy; be average looking, but super sexy (or charming).

It’s a fact that women are less visual and more emotional, which is why they prefer a sexy man instead of a good looking man.

Now, you must be thinking — “Okay Akshay sounds great. But, what makes a man sexy?” “How can I make myself more sexually attractive to women even if I don’t have good looks?”

Keep reading.

Develop the Self-Confidence You Need to Be Sexy

It doesn’t matter if you have good looks or not, if you’re self-confident, you’re kicking every other dude’s ass.

confident man wearing sports coat with black board behind

Being confident is the fundamental trait of becoming a sexy man.

Confidence is the ability to trust yourself to get something done. It comes from a well-developed sense of self and a grounded stability.

And yes, confident men are sexy and irresistible.

In one way or another, all of the tips contribute to improving your self-confidence.

Let’s begin.

1. Sexy Men Move With Power

The first impression has nothing to do with our faces or expressions.

In fact, people first notice by the way you move.

research at Queen’s University revealed that it is the key part of attraction game. People are capable of seeing if you are moving and acting in our normal (confident) way or not.

As social psychologist Amy Cuddy says, people try to answer:

“What are this person’s intentions towards me?”

“How strong and competent is this person?” 

But, why is this important?

See, if they caught you moving in a un-natural way, it would mean you’re not confident. And we don’t want that.

man walking wearing shades and holding umbrella

Your body language alone speaks your personality.

To make a solid first impression, you must move your body in style and confidence. Carry your body like you are off to something big. You are kind of a big deal.

Always keep your head parallel to the ground and please, don’t look down. Keep your back straight, chest up (like a soldier), shoulders down and relaxed.

You never know who could be watching you. Don’t give anybody a chance.

But, is being a good mover is enough to make you sexy?

2. Be a Good Cook – the secret ingredient

For the guys out there asking…”What can do to impress a lady?”…and yadda yadda.

Cook her a meal and if it actually tastes pretty good…it’s not even if it tastes good or not, the effort you put in to cook that meal is what matters the most.

Here’s the deal:

It’s easy to buy somebody something. You go to the store, throw out some cash and here you have it.

But, cooking a meal for somebody? It’s a whole new level of sexy my friendwhole new level!

Still, if you think cooking is not a manly thing. Yes, it is (95% agree)!

sexy man cooking to attract women

It’s time to do some cooking!

Step 1: Find a big pan or pot. Fill it with water (about 2/3). Turn the knob on the stove to high.

Step 2: Add 1 or 2 tablespoons of salt. Wait for the water to boil.

Step 3: Add pasta and stir (with a long spoon).

Step 4: Turn down the stove and continue boiling. After 8-10 minutes, take a piece out and taste it.

Step 5: When cooked to your taste, turn off the stove and empty the pot of pasta into a strainer. Now, serve it with your favorite sauce.

Eat and impress.

See, I am not a cooking expert. But, these books are worth checking out:

3. Sense of Humor — the Sixth Sense

When it comes to sexually exciting women and keeping the conversation interesting, sense of humor is the deal breaker.

study at Stanford University School found that women find funny men irresistible. The interesting part is that those with a good sense of humor is more preferred than physical looks.

This elusive sense is a skill, something that not everybody possesses. It’s a skill that works like a charm while approaching women.

approaching women bar

Here’s what you can do:

Watch More Comedy Shows/Comedians

The more you watch, the more you will learn about the things that are funny. Watch Chris Rock, Kevin Hart or Ellen for example.

Surround Yourself with Funny People

These guys will help you to recognize funny situations in real life, especially the ones who make girls laugh.

Practice Timing & Delivery

Because if you missed the time to joke, it will not work and fall flat.

Look for Humor in Everyday Situations

Look back and think of the situations that would sound funny when you joke about it. Always keep a few funny things to talk about in your arsenal.

Don’t Overdo It

Don’t be that freak who’s always on.

Don’t Be Mean

Being mean is not fun and completely drives away all the credibility. Being racist or sexist is not cool.

Laugh at Yourself

Nobody get’s hurt and it’s fun! 🙂

4. A Risk-Taker is Often Treated Special

Bravery is one of the edgiest things you can do to be crazy sexy and attract women like a magnet.

Doing something fearless and bad-ass can automatically separate you from more than 90% of the dudes.

Let’s say, you perform on the stage, in front of many.

man giving speech

Or as little as watching a scary movie.

couple-watching-horror-movie

Or even take the little insect out of your room (that screams the hell out of her).

It shows that you’re vulnerable, which makes you a human.

And if you’re afraid of going outside of your comfort zone, you’ll be seen as boring/needy. And there’s nothing sexy about it!

5. The Art of Complimenting Someone

What happens when somebody gives you a compliment?

Of course, you like them more!

People LOVE getting compliments, every day. Being good at this art can make anybody attracted to you, within minutes. Because you made them feel good.

Let’s break this art into two parts:

Part 1: Catching Up

The best thing for you to compliment on is something that they’re actually wearing — this is what most people will say.

But, I’ve noticed it is much better to compliment about something other than their physical looks, let’s say, their personality, hobbies or habits.

People take those more seriously (and personal).

Nevertheless, remember that you are complimenting them, not things. Doing so makes them feel special and important, which is what humans crave for our entire lives.

Instead of “I love your dress”, say “That dress/color looks great on you”. You made them special, not their thing.

“You deserve a hug right now.”

“You’re a great listener.”

“Your clothing choice is fantastic.”

“You’re even more beautiful on the inside than you are on the outside.”

“You make me feel good.”

“You’re a fantastic guitar player.”

man complimenting girl

Part 2: Dig Deeper

Don’t stop there. Take your complimenting game to another level.

Do an explanation or in-depth discussion of the thing you just compliment about. Turn it into an open-question.

“How did you learn that?”

“Where did you get it?”

Important: Honesty is the best policy. Don’t fake a compliment if you don’t mean it. That’s disgusting.

Be genuine about your compliments. Because people have the ability to sense flattery, and flattery is not a good habit.

6. Be Kind & Understanding — the Winning Tip

When you do something for people without expecting anything in return, you’re kind.

US-based research was done on 254 female students. They found that “Kind and Understanding” are the most preferred and highly rated characteristics of a man that a woman will look after.

Where the importance of job and money is about half than that.

qualities of men rated by women

It feels incredible when you do something helpful. Also, a scientific research showed that volunteering and helping others can lessen your depression and extend life.

kind man shaking hands with girl

Kindness does not take much effort.

Place no returns or conditions. If you have more money than you can spend, do charity.

Be a great listener. You’ll be surprised to know that many people in the world are hungry for attention. They want someone to listen to their stories.

As Dale Carnegie said, only by listening, without uttering a word, you become a great conversationalist in their eyes.

Do it every day, even if it’s a little thing. Something is always better than nothing. Even if you are able to make something out of anything, it is more than enough.

7. Make Eye Contact to Draw Attention

Making a high-level eye contact is a skill. It determines the importance of the person you’re in conversation with.

research says that gazing into another’s eyes leads people to feel increased love.

couple looking at each other dating

But, here’s the catch:

  • Too little eye contact will mean you’re less interested in the person or conversation.
  • Too much of it is aggressive and weird.

Speaking to an Individual

Maintain eye contact in a way that it doesn’t look creepy.

Break the eye contact every 3-4 seconds (3.3 seconds for nerds). Look up to a side or somewhere for a second (instead of looking down) and quickly get back.

Talking in a Group

Keep it even. Slowly move and rotate your eyes with all the members of the group so that nobody feels left out.

Attracting Someone with Your Eyes

To show affection, rotate your eyes to their lips, cheeks, nose, and back to their eyes. Use your eyebrows and facial expressions at appropriate places to show interest.

Gently smiling when listening also shows affection.

8. Intelligence Is The All Time Sexy

Knowledge and experience matters.

Ask yourself — will she like to have an intelligent and smart man or a dumbass dude?

You know the answer.

See, you don’t need an Einstein like IQ, but you have to educate yourself. It makes you a more interesting and knowledgeable person. And you can have things to talk about.

Seek education. It is sexy.

intellect-sexy-man

Read, read, read. Never stop reading. Read books, news, magazines, journals, and blogs.

Gather intelligence from the greatest and surround yourself with people smarter/better/successful than you.

Furthermore:

A research in PNAS proves that a 25-30 minutes game play time is enough to raise the intelligence levels.

Another research says music (with bass) moves brain to pay attention, improving your focus.

9. Learn to Touch Her By Being Playful & Fun

It is fun, yet underrated.

research (also shown in #6) found that play and playfulness signals serve an important function in mate choice. Thus, contributing sexual success.

The goal is to be more physical, which sexually turns a woman on. Doing so makes her feel more comfortable and helps you express your intentions well.

It works so well that even without attractive body or personality, you can get laid. Because frequent physical touches sexually excite women, which they can’t resist.

couple having fun playing

Do Acts That Require You to Touch More

To be honest, there are endless reasons to touch her.

Start with handshakes, light hugs, and high-fives. As you both get comfortable, hold your hands on her body for a longer time, like her hands, knees or lower back.

Do acts like dance and games, and take advantage of places when you have a chance of touching her. When you’ve built up a relationship, cuddling and tickling is a no brainer. It doesn’t get more fun and playful than this.

10. Having Integrity Can Get You High-Quality Women

Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.

If you have integrity, you are automatically viewed as sexier which is sweet for dudes who are honest.

how to be a gentleman the definitive guide

Live By Your Own Rules

Build a lifestyle that you’re passionate about, something that you’re proud of and not hesitant of sharing.

Honesty is the Best Policy

Being honest with women is very important. Many men think that they have to pretend or show off to impress women.

Many men think that they have to pretend or show off to impress women. I’ve seen guys who when they approach women, only try to show off those materialistic things that they own.

I’m not saying that showing off doesn’t work. The word “gold digger” was invented for no reason. Flaunting your swag will most probably attract needy (not high quality) women.

Understand that, there is nothing sexy about a man who pretends to be something he’s not, who lacks any depth of feeling. You become high status by your intentions, not by wearing a Rolex.

11. Be Generous & Have Humility

Helping others and giving something willingly and happily without expecting anything in return in generosity. When you have to give, then just give it from your heart.

If you’re only giving to impress other people, then you’re not really being generous.

generous man

Some tips:

  • Learn to say no to things that you’re not supposed to do.
  • Give up your seat.
  • Leave positive comments online 🙂
  • Realize you’re not the best at everything.
  • Don’t criticize, complain, or condemn.
  • Give honest and sincere appreciation.

12. The Attractive Body Posture

research at Princeton University said that an open or expansive posture makes a man physically attractive.

man sitting in open posture

  • Sit in open posture – open legs, arms spread.
  • Sitting straight makes you look more attentive.
  • Learn to use your facial expressions and hands.

13. Talk With Your Hands

When people are talking with passion and purpose, they tend to use their hands.

Research done on TED talkers shows that audiences view speakers that use their hands are viewed double more energetic and agreeable.

hands usage graph

Because it subconsciously triggers their mind, making you more energetic. Those who don’t — seem more cold and robotic.

man talking with hands

Know Your Hand, Speaking Space

From your chest to waist, a bit wider than shoulder width is the sweet spot. Don’t exaggerate too much and do it in a disciplined fashion.

Your Gestures Should Be Smooth

You don’t want to look robotic, right?

Follow Your Rhythm

Make sure that your hands are in line with the rhythm of your speech pattern. Don’t use your hands on nonverbal spaces and after completing the sentence.

Consistency With Your Speed

You must follow/mirror your tempo.

Learn Your Hand Work

Hold your hands at a 45-degree angle, palms facing up because it signifies openness and honesty.

14. Brooding Man Attracts

A British research revealed that women find happy men less sexually attractive than those with brooding face with a slight hint of shame.

Something like this:

brooding man

A brooding face is mysterious and sexy.

But, you must follow this ONLY when you’re not making an eye contact with someone. When in a conversation, a gentle smile is a must.

Actually, brooders are supposed to be approached and opened up. They don’t seem very talkative and flirty type.

15. A Well Dressed & Groomed Man Wins The Chase

To be honest, people do judge books by their covers.

What you wear and how you present yourself plays significant roles in judging your status and intentions towards others. Also, a good outfit can make you feel confident about yourself.

man in black suit

Getting Your Dressing Style Right

Start with basics.

Have classics like plain T-shirts, formal shirts (plain solid), trousers, jeans (dark washed), a leather jacket, sneakers, dress shoes and a well-tailored suit (charcoal gray or navy blue) in your wardrobe.

Then add accessories like stylish glasses and shades, a watch (shows you’re responsible and reliable) and other stylish details like the pocket square, chains, ties, rings, etc.

But, the thing is that I cannot cover much about style in this post so I made another detailed one where I talk about 130+ men’s style tips. You should check it out.

Grooming

Women like sniffing around men’s shirts with sweat (the manly smell of yours). But still, find a deodorant that suits you best to cover up the bad smell and leaves the good one.

Get a nice and clean haircut that suits your face:

 

You can do the most attractive facial hair (research proven) or simply clean-shaven.

Chest hair, armpits and back hair — Research says the majority of women prefer shaved chest. Or else trim them to light uniform size to avoid looking like a wild animal naked!

Testicles — shave ’em.

Butt cheeks — trim ’em.

Arm and leg hair — shave or trim them to light uniform size.

Eye brows, nose and ear hair — use an Plucker to get them in shape, or get it done by your hair stylist. Cut the unnecessary nose and ear hair by using small size scissors.

Nails — cut and clean them.

Fact: Many women judge men by their nails!

16. The Perfectly Sexy Muscle Man

Do you know what attracts women to men physically? Guys with muscles. According to the Californian study, women rated muscular men as sexier and more physically dominant.

These images were shown to 141 college women:

muscular sexy man research

The results?

  • Built and toned guys topped
  • Chubby was the least voted
  • Brawn still desirable

To summarize, do this:

  • Cardio for 30 minutes daily (running, cycling, skipping ropes, etc.)
  • Workout each body part once a week
  • Eat high-protein and vitamin rich food.

17. A Good Lover is One Hell of a Sexy Beast

You can’t beat the sexiness of a good lover…simply can’t!

It all boils down to improving sex appeal.

couple dancing in rain

Slow down. Everything in an intimate relationship should be slow and you should embrace the act of loving each other.

Explore your partner. Explore her sensitive areas which turn her on, both mentally and physically.

Please her mind first. Develop the sexual interest in her mind before getting physical and excite her to get interesting results.

Become the master of kissing. Master this art before anything else.

Speak more. She likes to hear your moans and sounds as much as you do.

18. Don’t Give a Damn about what Women Think

So, I see this advice on the internet that – don’t give a fuck about women.

But, why? What’s that going to get you?

They say that men who don’t pay much or any attention to women (don’t give a damn) are irresistible.

Honestly, when you do this, women think that you’re an ass and don’t want them anyway. I learned this the hard way.

women staring man walking

I did some further digging and found that this advice was originally made for those who are too needy and desperate. It is believed that following this advice may reduce their neediness. But, in turn, they treated women like shit.

It is a fact that women are never interested in guys who heavily pursue them. Women want to be desired, not desperately needed.

The main reason is that men feel they need to be something else to impress women, which makes them needy. What you should be doing — not give a damn about what women think of you.

This is important.

Be vulnerable. Be honest about who you are and do things out of the line for them. When you do this, women feel they are being desired, it makes you a sexy man.

19. The Mysteriously Sexy Guy

A shy guy, like a wallflower, is not sexy in any way. He is less involved and the wall seems like a good place to hang out.

On the other side, a quiet guy, but in a mysterious way, is super-duper sexy and that mysterious man attracts women. He is calm, cool and collected.

mysteriously attractive man

He speaks less than necessary and makes everyone wonder what he’s going to say next. This makes him:

  • A great observant
  • Self-sufficient
  • Super intelligent
  • Careful with his words
  • Responsible

Don’t Show off, Brag, or Boast

Never show your cards too early. Because there will be no chase afterwards.

Never Always Agree About What They Say

There must be a difference with your opinions and theirs. At the same time, avoid getting into arguments at all costs. Arguments always harm someone, no matter what.

Never Stabilize Their Mood

Always try to drop more questions in their mind (like bombs) to think.

More questions = More mystery = Deeper Attraction.

Connecting The Dots

Now, you know why becoming a sexy man is better.

A sexy man is:

  • Confident, which is also seen in his body language and by the way he speaks
  • Interesting, great conversationalist and has a sense of humor
  • Kind, generous, playful, intelligent
  • Well dressed and groomed, with a toned body
  • Sometimes mysterious and doesn’t give a damn about women.

Tell me, which ones of the above tips you are doing well, and have you got any success?

Want to know why girls don’t want you and what you are doing wrong?


why she don't want you

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Comments 18

  1. All excellent points that come back to being confident in your own skin. Once you are there, then you can expand your comfort zone. This creates a domino effect of self improvement and attractiveness.

  2. Wonderful post Akshay! Man I’m really impressed, you have put some meaningful core points in your article. I’ve read many articles around this topic, but your article is so research packed, you must’ve put a lot of time to collect the material. All I can say its pure gold, at-least for me 😉 I just subscribed, waiting for more.

  3. Hi Akshay, I loved your post! True, being attractive and being sexy are two different roads. You explained some valid points and action tips. Being a cook is a strong plus point, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a Masterchef to get a date, but if you cook, she will appreciate your effort, that will ultimately make the connection stronger. But on a occasion like anniversary, what do you recommend? Cook or order?

    1. Thanks Deanne!

      Cooking is certainly one of the most interesting ones here. It actually depends, if you’re staying indoors on a special day then cooking something can absolutely surprise her.

  4. I’m happy that I don’t make many mistakes. I dress well, work out and keep my body hair in check. Still there are some things that I should get better at. Also I don’t cook a lot but I think that should not be so important 🙂

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